7 January 1999 Edition
Editor's desk
You can't keep a bad joke down and this column, in its various guises, has certainly brought you the old IRA ad joke often enough. But it's a new year and it is kinda topical... so here goes.
The latest is this little advert, which was sent by a US reader. The media might talk about the self-styled Real IRA and Continuity IRA but, as you can see, that's nothing compared to what they have stateside. They have Traditional IRA's and Transfer IRA's (something to do with prisoners?) and good old Simple IRA's and the obviously wimpish Rollover IRA's who would decommission at the drop of a Unionist leader's hat.
OK, for those who have never read this paper before: In the US IRA does not mean fearsome, formidable revolutionary guerrillas. It stands for the much less exciting Individual Retirement Accounts.
Doesn't it make you sick to see big business, in the cause of profit, wrapping the green flag round themselves? That's what's happening right now with Dunne's, never before renowned for their outpourings of patriotic fervour. But how the world changes. And how a bit of competition from English supermarket giants Tesco and Sainsbury's has seen Dunne's reaching for the shillelagh.
In Newry when Sainsbury's took out a two page ad in a local paper, complete with a special coupon offering ``£3 off for every £30 you spend'', Dunne's had a similar two page ad a few pages on with a coupon which said: ``Bring the Sainsbury's coupon to us and we'll give you £3 off''.
And in response to the English hordes Dunne's marketing department has come up with a new slogan. They are now telling the world: `The Difference Is: We're Irish'.
And it is emblazoned wherever they can put it. Well, not exactly. Dunne's rather dowdy branch in the centre of Portadown does not, I'm told, proclaim its Irishness. There's only so far a business's patriotism will stretch.
Talking of Portadown, its finest son, Davy Jones, Orange Order spokesperson may soon be seen at a Disband the RUC picket near you. In Wednesday's Guardian he described his growing disillusionment with the RUC since the start of the siege of the Garvaghy Road last July. ``If this is what nationalists and republicans had to go through for years, we can see what they are complaining about.''
It's a real pity that Davy and his mates picked their fight at a time when the RUC will do almost anything to hold onto their jobs, even gently stop some Orangemen from walking over beleagured nationalists.
The latest is this little advert, which was sent by a US reader. The media might talk about the self-styled Real IRA and Continuity IRA but, as you can see, that's nothing compared to what they have stateside. They have Traditional IRA's and Transfer IRA's (something to do with prisoners?) and good old Simple IRA's and the obviously wimpish Rollover IRA's who would decommission at the drop of a Unionist leader's hat.
OK, for those who have never read this paper before: In the US IRA does not mean fearsome, formidable revolutionary guerrillas. It stands for the much less exciting Individual Retirement Accounts.
Doesn't it make you sick to see big business, in the cause of profit, wrapping the green flag round themselves? That's what's happening right now with Dunne's, never before renowned for their outpourings of patriotic fervour. But how the world changes. And how a bit of competition from English supermarket giants Tesco and Sainsbury's has seen Dunne's reaching for the shillelagh.
In Newry when Sainsbury's took out a two page ad in a local paper, complete with a special coupon offering ``£3 off for every £30 you spend'', Dunne's had a similar two page ad a few pages on with a coupon which said: ``Bring the Sainsbury's coupon to us and we'll give you £3 off''.
And in response to the English hordes Dunne's marketing department has come up with a new slogan. They are now telling the world: `The Difference Is: We're Irish'.
And it is emblazoned wherever they can put it. Well, not exactly. Dunne's rather dowdy branch in the centre of Portadown does not, I'm told, proclaim its Irishness. There's only so far a business's patriotism will stretch.
Talking of Portadown, its finest son, Davy Jones, Orange Order spokesperson may soon be seen at a Disband the RUC picket near you. In Wednesday's Guardian he described his growing disillusionment with the RUC since the start of the siege of the Garvaghy Road last July. ``If this is what nationalists and republicans had to go through for years, we can see what they are complaining about.''
It's a real pity that Davy and his mates picked their fight at a time when the RUC will do almost anything to hold onto their jobs, even gently stop some Orangemen from walking over beleagured nationalists.