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2 June 2005 Edition

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Dúirt Strachan

New Celtic manager Gordon Strachan's way of dealing with annoying hacks is more, err, direct than Martin O'Neill's.

The following are some genuine bytes from the mouth of the small red haired one.

Parkhead Press conferences are about to get a lot more fun.

Reporter: Gordon, Do you think James Beattie deserves to be in the England squad?

Strachan: I don't care, I'm Scottish

Reporter: "Gordon, can we have a quick word please?"

Strachan: "Velocity" [walks off]

Reporter: Gordon, you must be delighted with that result?

Strachan: You're spot on! You can read me like a book.

Reporter: This might sound like a daft question, but you'll be happy to get your first win under your belt, won't you?

Strachan: You're right. It is a daft question. I'm not even going to bother answering that one. It is a daft question, you're spot on there.

Reporter: Bang, there goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?

Strachan: No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe jump of a bridge. Umm, I think I can take it, yeah.

Reporter: There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here?

Strachan: Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here. I'm going to whack you over the head with a big stick. Down, negative man, down.

Reporter: You don't take losing lightly, do you Gordon?

Strachan: I don't take stupid comments lightly either.

Reporter: So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?

Strachan: What areas? Mainly that big green one out there...

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