Letter to the Taoiseach

I hear that you are going to increase the number of Ministers of State.  A good idea, now that you have locked in the Green Party to the new Government.  It might sound like a hardy annual to you, Taoiseach, but I would like you to appoint a Minister of State who will take forward a Green Paper for Irish Unity.  
My MLA colleague, Gerry McHugh made this very point to me in the Assembly Chamber this week.  I’ll leave the thought with you and, sure, you can get back to me.
I hear that all is not well in Mayo and that your new TD, Dara Calleary is not happy at the suggestion that Beverley Flynn was being considered for a Junior Ministry.  That is, if Beverley would resolve her legal issues and rejoin the party.
Some people think that Dara Calleary is getting carried away with himself and that no first-time TD should offer advice to a third-time Taoiseach.  
The use of Shannon Airport by the American Army is another thorny issue and I would welcome a statement from yourself as to where this issue featured or did not feature in any discussions about forming the government.  If you do not wish to make this statement publicly, just write back to me.  You do have my email address.  For the record my email address is [email protected]
I might be flying to America myself, next week, Taoiseach.  I received an official invite along with Minister Edwin Poots to travel to Washington for the official opening of the Smithsonian Festival. The North of Ireland is one of the ‘Regions’ being showcased at the Smithsonian Festival.  I do not intend to be restricted by lines on a map which should not be there and I know that I will command your support when I promote the culture and heritage of the whole country.
If the Americans let me in, that is.  They did not always let me in, in the past.  Remind me to tell you about my experience in Los Angeles when the Airport Police revealed a degree of confusion about the nature of the relationship between Sinn Féin and the IRA.  
Remember, last week, Bertie I told you that David Burnside had not shown up to the first four committee meetings at Stormont. I have news for you on that front.  The Ulster Unionist Party took note of what I was saying and have moved to replace Burnside with his MLA colleague and former school principal, Ken Robinson.  Burnside will not even look my direction in the corridor now.  
On another note, Taoiseach, what did you make of the flash floods last week?  It was bad in parts of Belfast and Tyrone. What about the capital itself?  The weather is so changeable here that one American visitor observed “If you do not like the weather in Ireland, wait a minute”.
I do not blame Conor Murphy personally for the flash floods or the havoc that they wreaked in their wake.  But he is the Minister for Regional Development in the Six Counties. I used to blame Patrick Mayhew for most things. Now Murphy is in the firing line for anyone who suffered inconvenience or damage to their property last week. I seized the opportunity to invite Conor to come to Omagh to meet those people worst affected and to meet those who co-ordinated the emergency response on the ground.
My Aunt May winces every time she hears this phrase, Taoiseach.  “On the ground”
Where else would it be?  In the air? May can be pedantic like that, but apart from that, she is really sound.  I must introduce you to her sometime if you are up this way again in the near future.

Anyway, I’ve officially invited Conor to come to Tyrone. Hansard (official record of Assembly debates) tells us that he will be the first Armagh man to be made welcome in Tyrone. 

Is mise le meas
Barry McElduff

NB: Bertie Ahern can be contacted on (00 353) 1 619 4020 or e-mail [email protected].  Address: Office of the Taoiseach, Government Buildings, Dublin 2.