30 July 1998 Edition
Television: Radio Days
By Seán O Donaile
Steam Power (Radio One)
Reading In The Shade (Radio One)
The Temptation Game (BBC1)
Kruger 100 (Nat. Geographic Channel).
``Perhaps it comes in in two hours,
Perhaps it breaks down on the way,
If it does, says the guard, `Be-the-Hokey',
We're here for the rest of the day!''
There's something eerie about driving through Barnesmore Gap in Donegal at 5.00am with the summer rain and winds lashing the windscreen, through the old railway pillars, listening to John Bowman's tales of yore when ``steam engines'' were all the rage in Ireland.
It's now 300 years since the invention of steam power, which reached its epoch during the 19th century, powering steam threshers, mail boats and the rail networks, which was an essential social and economic web for many living in the West.
Political consciousness was not yet in vogue and today's standard class passenger was labelled a 3rd class traveller, and if, as happened on the famous Listowel-Ballybunnion train, there were times you had to get out and push.
The rail network reached those places others couldn't and were vital during the Emergency years, which the old drivers are keen to remind us of - ``trains back then were hard; their likes will ne'er be seen again''.
Unfortunately a cliff fall in Creeslough was followed by the closure of the Donegal line, the celebrated West Clare line, and others. Needless to say, little or none of the old engines were preserved and another fragment of our heritage is left to memory.
Dubs might think there is little or no TV in the Donegal hills, and in some cases they are accurate. Starved of TV, video, and all other forms of modern technology, I was resigned to a portable wireless, which is currently the excellent ``Reading In The Shade''.
Pauline McLynn (aka Mrs Doyle of Fr Ted fame) is currently reading extracts from Roddy Doyle's `The Woman Who Walked Into Doors', of which yesterday's chapter was a chilling but humorous indictment of our Secondary School system.
Paula O'Leary's school memories can be identified with by many of us - dreary classrooms with chewing gum-clad chairs and smelly desks with some poor sod's initials patiently dug in with a compass; Feargal O'Meara blowing farts and throwing his boiled egg sandwiches across the room; soggy corn beef and even soggier teachers, most of whom showed little or no interest in the less academic minded-''are ye all thick or what?'' ``What would you shower know of Archimedes or Aristotle?''
Paula's teachers are either boring old sods - Mr Grimes with his twenty year old tweed jacket and permanent snot - or ``as mad as blind dog's shite''.
Naturally enough Paula departs from our education system as soon as the chance arises and descends into an early life of children and an early marriage. That and the weather in the North west forced me to depart for the comfy multi-channel land of North Dublin, where Angus Deayton was busy taking the proverbial from a cluster of Irish monks on ``The Temptation Game''.
The ``Registers'' focused on those who refrain from sex, including the Irish based ``Servants of Love Sect'' who produce videos about how to resist fornication and its evil allies.
Why they make these videos and who their target audience might be is a bit of a mystery as is their tendency to all sleep beside each other in the one room, again resisting the intimate stuff.
Deayton also tackles our weakness for labels, which has gone as far as four year olds yearning for those Nike runners or those fifty pound David Beckham tops.
John and Irma Mustoe are at the opposite end of the scale, and produce a successful ``Penny Pincher'' magazine, which suggests a number of novel ways of saving a few bob - put your credit card in a bowl of ice, which will prevent you from that compulsive purchase; read your local paper in the library for free; hang your tea bags on the line for a second run; or if you're from Cavan, eat your dinner in the drawer, so you can close it quickly if your hungry neighbours pop around!
``Kruger 100'' was a celebration of the innovative South African Wildlife Park, which contains 16 separate systems, 137 species of animals, 500 species of bird and 114 reptile types, spread over five million acres.
The park was established by President Kruger in 1898 and now contains many hostels and centres spread over the region.
Animals can be accessed by car, when you're likely to run into rhinos or bare bummed baboons or by foot where guards are necessary.
An excellent documentary on the welcome National Geographic Channel, but I couldn't help thinking, if the South African Administration had treated their coloured brethren with half as much compassion, they wouldn't have had to build zoos around their leafy suburbs.
Tune in for the end of the pill-powered climax to the Tour De France, which is still a remarkable spectacle, as will be Kildare's toppling of The Royal.
Steam Power (Radio One)
Reading In The Shade (Radio One)
The Temptation Game (BBC1)
Kruger 100 (Nat. Geographic Channel).
``Perhaps it comes in in two hours,
Perhaps it breaks down on the way,
If it does, says the guard, `Be-the-Hokey',
We're here for the rest of the day!''
There's something eerie about driving through Barnesmore Gap in Donegal at 5.00am with the summer rain and winds lashing the windscreen, through the old railway pillars, listening to John Bowman's tales of yore when ``steam engines'' were all the rage in Ireland.
It's now 300 years since the invention of steam power, which reached its epoch during the 19th century, powering steam threshers, mail boats and the rail networks, which was an essential social and economic web for many living in the West.
Political consciousness was not yet in vogue and today's standard class passenger was labelled a 3rd class traveller, and if, as happened on the famous Listowel-Ballybunnion train, there were times you had to get out and push.
The rail network reached those places others couldn't and were vital during the Emergency years, which the old drivers are keen to remind us of - ``trains back then were hard; their likes will ne'er be seen again''.
Unfortunately a cliff fall in Creeslough was followed by the closure of the Donegal line, the celebrated West Clare line, and others. Needless to say, little or none of the old engines were preserved and another fragment of our heritage is left to memory.
Dubs might think there is little or no TV in the Donegal hills, and in some cases they are accurate. Starved of TV, video, and all other forms of modern technology, I was resigned to a portable wireless, which is currently the excellent ``Reading In The Shade''.
Pauline McLynn (aka Mrs Doyle of Fr Ted fame) is currently reading extracts from Roddy Doyle's `The Woman Who Walked Into Doors', of which yesterday's chapter was a chilling but humorous indictment of our Secondary School system.
Paula O'Leary's school memories can be identified with by many of us - dreary classrooms with chewing gum-clad chairs and smelly desks with some poor sod's initials patiently dug in with a compass; Feargal O'Meara blowing farts and throwing his boiled egg sandwiches across the room; soggy corn beef and even soggier teachers, most of whom showed little or no interest in the less academic minded-''are ye all thick or what?'' ``What would you shower know of Archimedes or Aristotle?''
Paula's teachers are either boring old sods - Mr Grimes with his twenty year old tweed jacket and permanent snot - or ``as mad as blind dog's shite''.
Naturally enough Paula departs from our education system as soon as the chance arises and descends into an early life of children and an early marriage. That and the weather in the North west forced me to depart for the comfy multi-channel land of North Dublin, where Angus Deayton was busy taking the proverbial from a cluster of Irish monks on ``The Temptation Game''.
The ``Registers'' focused on those who refrain from sex, including the Irish based ``Servants of Love Sect'' who produce videos about how to resist fornication and its evil allies.
Why they make these videos and who their target audience might be is a bit of a mystery as is their tendency to all sleep beside each other in the one room, again resisting the intimate stuff.
Deayton also tackles our weakness for labels, which has gone as far as four year olds yearning for those Nike runners or those fifty pound David Beckham tops.
John and Irma Mustoe are at the opposite end of the scale, and produce a successful ``Penny Pincher'' magazine, which suggests a number of novel ways of saving a few bob - put your credit card in a bowl of ice, which will prevent you from that compulsive purchase; read your local paper in the library for free; hang your tea bags on the line for a second run; or if you're from Cavan, eat your dinner in the drawer, so you can close it quickly if your hungry neighbours pop around!
``Kruger 100'' was a celebration of the innovative South African Wildlife Park, which contains 16 separate systems, 137 species of animals, 500 species of bird and 114 reptile types, spread over five million acres.
The park was established by President Kruger in 1898 and now contains many hostels and centres spread over the region.
Animals can be accessed by car, when you're likely to run into rhinos or bare bummed baboons or by foot where guards are necessary.
An excellent documentary on the welcome National Geographic Channel, but I couldn't help thinking, if the South African Administration had treated their coloured brethren with half as much compassion, they wouldn't have had to build zoos around their leafy suburbs.
Tune in for the end of the pill-powered climax to the Tour De France, which is still a remarkable spectacle, as will be Kildare's toppling of The Royal.