Civility and political differences should not be mutually exclusive - Reflecting on our politics & Christopher Stalford

» Declan Kearney

"I believe that even in our divided society we can still live together in mutual respect. Parity of esteem, equality and respect are the essence of what the Good Friday Agreement represents."

I was shocked and saddened to learn last Sunday week, that Christopher Stalford, the 39-year-old DUP MLA for South Belfast had died suddenly.

I had a genuine regard for him. We weren’t personal friends; we’d never gone for a coffee or a drink. But we often spoke in friendly terms on the corridors of Stormont; we had previously attended conferences together in England and the USA. 

He had been ill a couple of times over recent months and I inquired of him about his health. We sparred politically in media interviews, across the floor of the Assembly chamber, and in the The Executive Office scrutiny committee where I attended as an Executive Minister to update members.

In one of our last Committee encounters, I reminded him that the Protocol he perceived as a threat to the union, was ironically the creation of the so-called ‘Conservative & Unionist Party’ - the Tory government in London. He didn’t disagree. 

I recall him making regular references to his young family, and speaking about visits to his father’s grave when he was married and then upon his election to the Assembly. 

Christopher was an Orangeman, with right of centre politics. He clearly relished parliamentary tradition. 

He was also affable and quick witted. After a recent absence from the Assembly due to illness Pat Sheehan MLA welcomed him back noting that his wit had been missed.

Christopher and I disagreed fundamentally on many issues. But at a political and personal level I believe we disagreed well. I hope he would have agreed. That is how it should be.

The north of Ireland is a contested state. That is why the Good Friday Agreement exists. It provides a democratic framework and road map for both managing change, and ultimately to enable the exercise of self determination, according to the will of the people who live in this region, and throughout Ireland.

Christopher Stalford was a proud unionist. I recall that he wept as he concluded a tribute, with the refrain ‘God save the Queen’ on the occasion of an Assembly debate to mark the death of Queen Elizabeth’s husband. 

Of course he opposed Irish unity. But I would like to think that if, and when our people choose for progressive constitutional change, a unionist like Christopher would have provided positive leadership. 

Life is too short. Politics is a way to manage and make change. 

We can take opposite sides on many issues, but we don’t have to treat each other as enemies. 

Christopher Stalford was certainly not an enemy to me. We lived in, and provided political representation in this part of Ireland, that we call home. 

I remember an intervention he once made regarding the length of time he placed the Union flag outside his home every July. 

The Irish national flag is erected outside my home every Good Friday evening and then removed again on Easter Monday evening each year.

I believe that even in our divided society we can still live together in mutual respect. Parity of esteem, equality and respect are the essence of what the Good Friday Agreement represents. 

Politics anywhere, but particularly in the north of Ireland, can be a rough, forbidding and unforgiving business.

We all have personal feelings. It is too much of a cliché to say that we do not know what goes on within the private lives of others, or behind closed doors. 

Life is tough at the best of times. It doesn’t cost a lot to be courteous and kind. We are all human beings. Civility and political differences should not be mutually exclusive. 

All of us have to manage unseen difficulties; and we rarely see the curve balls coming which life throws in our direction. 

Christopher Stalford made a notable contribution to the northern Assembly as a MLA, Deputy Principal Speaker, and committee member. 

He was also a husband, father, son and friend to many.

We can challenge, criticise and disagree. 

In remembering Christopher let’s recall that our political opponents have their own personal feelings and challenges to navigate. We all have families and friends.

My thoughts are with his wife, little children, family and friends, and colleagues in the DUP. The northern Assembly will be much the less colourful for his passing.