13 November 1997 Edition
Television: The comeback kid
BY LIAM O COILEAIN
And so, like a bad penny, he skulks back. The O Coileáin boy himself. And you thought, hoped even, that you'd seen the back of me. A freakish mix of ego and illness have combined against my legion of detractors (I've still got the misspelled fan mail). I was recently blackmailed into making a comeback in the Irish People, which had the effect of stroking my inflated impression of myself and my abilities, which are never too deflated at any time. Combine this with an unexpected childhood illness, which nicely nobbled the present incumbent of this space, and the poor befuddled editor was left with little choice but to let me loose again.
Unfortunately, I'm just back from my holliers. Unfortunate firstly because I'm back and it's cold and miserable, and secondly because I've seen precious little television, and that is what this vast white space stretching off into the far distance is supposed to be all about.
The English television schedule is filled with Louise Woodward, the most famous nanny I'd never want to have minding my children, and a salutary exercise in the wonders of impartial journalism, while over on RTÉ the presidential inauguration is all very nice but does not exactly light my candle. Sport and soaps are usually my last resort in times of crisis, but Celtic fans are back sulking in the trenches, nobody wants to hear about my own beloved Chelsea, all that's left of the Grand Prix scene is the pickings of controversy. There's not even a decent golf tournament on to bore you all with.
The soaps are little better, I'm afraid. Fair City is in a bit of a trough. The drug dealers seem to be on holidays, and the `I stepped out and she stepped in again' marriage business has run its course. That also seems to be the case in Coronation Street, which has been all too angst-ridden of late. In recent years Brookside has tried hard for shock value, and has an impressive record of taboo subjects to its name, from wife battering to batterer burying, incest and euthanasia. It has run out of steam somewhat of late and is embarking on a bizarre surrogacy plot to try to regain momentum. The only real bright spot on its horizon, though, is the return of standby bad guy Barry Grant. A spot of good old-fashioned gangsterism appears to be looming. There might be a bit of life in Liverpool yet.
Outside of that, Deals on Wheels (Channel 4, Tuesdays, 8pm) is worth a look. The presenters are informative on what to look out for when buying second hand cars and the people trrying to sell their cars are uniformly entertaining. There was one guy trying to sell a banger who turned down a higher offer than he eventually accepted because the buyer dented his pride by checking the car out too much. Another seller started bringing her price down before the buyer had even come in with an offer. They could learn a lot by visiting a horse fair.
Léargas (Network 2, Tuesday, 11 November, 7,30pm) RTÉ's above average bilingual documentary series, travelled to the Scottish Highlands to report on the hopes of locals for the new Scottish parliament. A virtually feudal system of landholding is still in existence in the Highlands, where most of the land rests in the hands of landlords, the Queen of England and other land grabbers. A Sheikh Mohammed is one newer landowner, controlling 42,000 acres, much of which is closed to locals. Examples of this feudal system endured by the `peasantry' can include having to consult the local landlord should they want to change the colour of their house. Landlords even control access to the sea in this playground for the wealthy.
Adjacent to the Isle of Skye, a private bridge has been built and as a result local ferries have lost all business and many tourists are turning back as the price of crossing is exorbitant. Karl Marx once recorded that the Highlands were the worst example in the world of the victory of landlordism over locals. Léargas showed clearly that this system is still thriving. Locals are now hoping that Home Rule will make a difference. Hmmm!
Anyway, normal service will be resumed next week when Seán O Donaíle will report exclusively on the situation in Albania. In the meantime, remember my golden rule: the remote control is your best friend and a great substitute for having a life.
And so, like a bad penny, he skulks back. The O Coileáin boy himself. And you thought, hoped even, that you'd seen the back of me. A freakish mix of ego and illness have combined against my legion of detractors (I've still got the misspelled fan mail). I was recently blackmailed into making a comeback in the Irish People, which had the effect of stroking my inflated impression of myself and my abilities, which are never too deflated at any time. Combine this with an unexpected childhood illness, which nicely nobbled the present incumbent of this space, and the poor befuddled editor was left with little choice but to let me loose again.
Unfortunately, I'm just back from my holliers. Unfortunate firstly because I'm back and it's cold and miserable, and secondly because I've seen precious little television, and that is what this vast white space stretching off into the far distance is supposed to be all about.
The English television schedule is filled with Louise Woodward, the most famous nanny I'd never want to have minding my children, and a salutary exercise in the wonders of impartial journalism, while over on RTÉ the presidential inauguration is all very nice but does not exactly light my candle. Sport and soaps are usually my last resort in times of crisis, but Celtic fans are back sulking in the trenches, nobody wants to hear about my own beloved Chelsea, all that's left of the Grand Prix scene is the pickings of controversy. There's not even a decent golf tournament on to bore you all with.
The soaps are little better, I'm afraid. Fair City is in a bit of a trough. The drug dealers seem to be on holidays, and the `I stepped out and she stepped in again' marriage business has run its course. That also seems to be the case in Coronation Street, which has been all too angst-ridden of late. In recent years Brookside has tried hard for shock value, and has an impressive record of taboo subjects to its name, from wife battering to batterer burying, incest and euthanasia. It has run out of steam somewhat of late and is embarking on a bizarre surrogacy plot to try to regain momentum. The only real bright spot on its horizon, though, is the return of standby bad guy Barry Grant. A spot of good old-fashioned gangsterism appears to be looming. There might be a bit of life in Liverpool yet.
Outside of that, Deals on Wheels (Channel 4, Tuesdays, 8pm) is worth a look. The presenters are informative on what to look out for when buying second hand cars and the people trrying to sell their cars are uniformly entertaining. There was one guy trying to sell a banger who turned down a higher offer than he eventually accepted because the buyer dented his pride by checking the car out too much. Another seller started bringing her price down before the buyer had even come in with an offer. They could learn a lot by visiting a horse fair.
Léargas (Network 2, Tuesday, 11 November, 7,30pm) RTÉ's above average bilingual documentary series, travelled to the Scottish Highlands to report on the hopes of locals for the new Scottish parliament. A virtually feudal system of landholding is still in existence in the Highlands, where most of the land rests in the hands of landlords, the Queen of England and other land grabbers. A Sheikh Mohammed is one newer landowner, controlling 42,000 acres, much of which is closed to locals. Examples of this feudal system endured by the `peasantry' can include having to consult the local landlord should they want to change the colour of their house. Landlords even control access to the sea in this playground for the wealthy.
Adjacent to the Isle of Skye, a private bridge has been built and as a result local ferries have lost all business and many tourists are turning back as the price of crossing is exorbitant. Karl Marx once recorded that the Highlands were the worst example in the world of the victory of landlordism over locals. Léargas showed clearly that this system is still thriving. Locals are now hoping that Home Rule will make a difference. Hmmm!
Anyway, normal service will be resumed next week when Seán O Donaíle will report exclusively on the situation in Albania. In the meantime, remember my golden rule: the remote control is your best friend and a great substitute for having a life.