Top Issue 1-2024

17 January 2008 Edition

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Fifth Column

Rock on

THE White House’s reaction to the release of captives by the rebel guerrillas of the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia (FARC) reminds me of a sketch by black American comedian Chris Rock about another real-life episode involving hostages.
The Reuters news agency reported last Thursday (10 January):
“The United States grudgingly acknowledged Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez’s role in freeing two women hostages in Colombia on Thursday but made clear it was not about to ask his help to free three Americans there.
“US State Department spokesman Tom Casey warmly welcomed the release of the two women held for years in Colombia’s jungles by Marxist rebels but avoided praising the leftist Chávez, an outspoken critic of the United States who has described US President George W Bush as the Devil.”
Chris Rock’s show, Bigger and Blacker, was made in 1999 (but is still being shown on the Comedy Channel and is out on DVD) after three US soldiers serving with the United Nations on the Macedonia border were taken prisoner by the Serbs.
Jesse Jackson, the liberal US civil rights leader and bête noir of the Washington Establishment, travelled to Belgrade to meet Slobodan Milosevic to secure the Americans’ release. Chris Rock’s analysis may not be too far from the truth...
“Jesse Jackson! Jesse’s alright.
“Jesse went over there; Jesse got them hostages.
“I don’t know how the hell he did that shit.
“He went over there with no money, no sweet potato pie.
“What the fuck did Jesse say?
“Jesse must’ve been like:
“‘Do you want the United States to really be mad at you? Give the hostages to me.’”

One law for them...

RAISE your glasses to PSNI Constable Geraldine Donnelly who is back at work after a little accident with a police TV commercial warning about the perils of drink-driving.
Constable Donnelly starred in the expensive TV film but ended up on the cutting room floor when she had to be edited out after being caught drink-driving. (The message obviously hadn’t got through to her either.)
She admitted the offence last May and was fined £120 and banned for driving for 12 months. Despite Deputy Chief Constable Paul Leighton warning pie-eyed Peelers that they would face the sack if found guilty of drink-driving, she’s now back on the beat, protecting the community, deterring law breakers and warning motorists about, er, not drinking and driving.
The commercial, co-sponsored by the PSNI and the Department of the Environment, was a central part of its campaign, ‘Smashed’, with the slogan, “You’ll get smashed if you drive on drink or drugs” – but you could still keep your job with the PSNI.
The clear-cut, half-cut constable’s case is expected to be investigated by the Policing Board.

Diplomatic sack

AS an active trade unionist who has been arrested for picket line activities (scab threatens me, I invite him to try = I get arrested), I’m in a quandary about joining a possible strike at a certain sweat shop in Dublin 4 – the British Embassy.
Staff at the Ballsbridge bunker thought that the Foreign Office and MI6 secret squirrels scurrying around the place were making top-secret plans for Queenie Windsor to visit Dublin’s fair city. In fact, what they were really planning was to sack three Irish staff members.
Their union rep, Colm Quinlan of Unite, said:
“Everybody thought the embassy was planning for a royal visit but instead they were getting ready to axe loyal staff.”
Loyalty only works one way in British diplomatic circles.

Police diversion

THE police state that is Britain has turned its archaic laws against another group of workers to stop them protesting their pay demands at Downing Street. This trade union’s members, though, are known to have undergone paramilitary training, have a history of unrestrained street violence, and have been found guilty in the courts of a number of crimes. Yes, we’re talking about the police.
The Police Federation wanted to march 15,000 members past the Westminster parliament on 23 January in the biggest police demo since 1919 in protest against being refused their full pay rise agreed by an independent arbitrator. But senior police officers at Scotland Yard have dusted off some 19th century laws to have the police march re-routed.
Police Federation spokesperson Alan Gordon suspects there is some skulduggery afoot
“There appears to be some behind-the-scenes government interference. There is pressure being brought on the Metropolitan Police to either postpone the march altogether or to reroute it in such a way that it will disappear into side streets where it will be out of the public gaze.”
The gobby Bobby seems to have been taken by surprise by this routine police ploy for demonstrations. He obviously believes in one law for them and another for everyone else.


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Ireland