Letter to the Taoiseach by Barry McElduff

I thought that you looked a bit uncomfortable, Taoiseach, in the photograph that they showed of you recently, you and the English Prince Andrew.  There is something incongruous about it all, especially in front of the portrait of Pádraig Pearse that hangs in your office.  A different angle of the same photograph showed de Valera’s picture in the background.

Meanwhile, I noticed that J.J. Barrett is going to withdraw his father’s GAA medal collection from the museum at Croke Park if God Save the Queen is played there this weekend.

Sometimes I find that people use words like “mature” and “progressive” in the wrong sense.  Maturity and progression of thought are seldom attributed to those who remember their history and who stand up for their national rights.  The word “reconciliation” deserves stricter definition, too, and it is not always those who stand up for their rights who are against the notion of reconciliation.

My own personal opinion is that England’s anthem should never be played in Croke Park under any circumstances.  Even when England vacates the Six Counties. I do think, Taoiseach, that you should press the British Government for an apology.  A friend of mine said that one should not hold their breath while waiting on either the request or the apology itself.

On a lighter note, did you hear about the Frenchman who showed up at Jones Road with a canoe on top of his car?  Apparently, he was looking for the Canal End.  That used to be said about certain counties making their way to Croke Park for the first time.

Taoiseach, I’d be interested to hear your judgement on Malachi Cush’s song Until We Meet Again.  Malachi comes from Donaghmore in County Tyrone and co-wrote a song which Dervish interpreted on The Late Late Show last Friday night.  Malachi was hoping that his song might be picked to represent Ireland at Helsinki in May in the Eurovision Song Contest. 

Lots of people I know, including one of my daughters, were lining up to vote for Malachi’s song and dialled the number offered by RTÉ.  That number was 1 513 71 72 03.  Wait for it, you couldn’t get through from the Six Counties.  Suffice to say, Malachi’s song was pipped at the post by a John Waters/Tommy Moran song, They Can’t Stop the Spring, which will now go forward for Ireland’s entry for the 52nd Eurovision competition.

Taoiseach, would you get on to our national broadcaster and remind them that we exist too.  I have nothing against John Waters or Tommy Moran.  I wish them and Dervish every success in May, but Malachi’s fan bases are left to wonder “what if”.

When you are speaking to the people at RTÉ, could you also get them to tell Eimear from AA Roadwatch to give us a few traffic reports in relation to the state of play on the M1 and M2 motorways on the approach to Belfast.  If I am listening to Morning Ireland, why should I have to switch to Good Morning Ulster to hear about traffic hold-ups and road works on the approach to Ireland’s second city?  I hope that I am not provoking the Cork people too much with that type of description of Belfast.

Is mise le meas

Barry McElduff

NB: Bertie Ahern can be contacted on (00 353) 1 619 4020 or e-mail [email protected].  Address: Office of the Taoiseach, Government Buildings, Dublin 2.