Sidelines

The Kevin Cardiff School of Economics
KEVIN CARDIFF got a nice Christmas present when he finally landed the job at the European Court of Auditors (salary €276,000 a year) even though he’s the man who headed the Government’s finance division when an accounting blunder resulted in the ‘national debt’ being overstated by €3.6billion and despite the EU’s Budgetary Finance Committee previously rejecting his nomination.
It turns out that back in January 2008 Kevin was again showing off his economic expertise during a visit to the US Embassy in Ballsbridge.
According to the confidential US cables published by WikiLeaks, Cardiff told officials that “while prices have dipped slightly, the housing market remains healthy”.
Cardiff is also reported to have said that “the underlying demographics support the current levels of house prices and the Government does not expect a steep price drop”. I’m sure Kevin reappraised the situation a few weeks later when, according to the Global Property Guide, the “world’s biggest property bust” occurred.
Commenting on Cardiff’s promotion to his new European position, Gerry Adams TD said: “He’s going to need a lot of luck and with that kind of accounting the EU is going to need a lot of luck as well.”

Gregory Campbell supports all-Ireland approach
DUP East Derry MP Gregory Campbell was left scratching his head and re-evaluating his unionist beliefs following an appearance on BBC TV’s Hearts & Minds programme on Thursday 8 December.
During the interview host Noel Thompson asked Campbell about the decade of upcoming anniversaries, including the signing of the Ulster Covenant and the Battle of the Somme. Campbell was, of course, looking forward to both with relish.
When asked about his views on the Easter Rising being commemorated in Belfast, though, Campbell dismissed the idea, proclaiming it was “a Dublin thing” because the Rising happened in “a foreign
country”. He went on to say that he would not expect the Battle of the Boyne to be commemorated in France, at which point Thompson interjected with “or in Belfast as it is every year”.
A confused Campbell was left speechless and could only respond with strange noises as he made a hasty retreat from that area of conversation.

Brian Hayes struggles by on just €5,000 a month
AS families right across the 26 Counties are forced to decide between keeping their heating on and putting food on the table, we should all spare a thought for Fine Gael TD and Minister of State
Brian Hayes. Just hours after implementing a massively unfair Budget, Brian told TV3 viewers of how he struggles by on just €5,000 a month.
The issue arose after Hayes was confronted on Tonight with Vincent Browne over Budget cuts to Child Benefit, back to school allowances, fuel allowances and other areas. Browne said that ordinary people believed he and his Government pals had “a bloody nerve” to implement austerity on ordinary people while they raked in “mega-salaries” of over €100,000.
The Minister queried what could be considered a “mega-salary”, mumbling he only earned €130,000 a year and after tax he ‘only’ took home €5,000 a month! When asked how the Budget affected him, Hayes desperately squeaked that the increase in VAT affected everybody before adding “my Child Benefit is down, I suppose”.
Hayes went on to accuse Browne of taking part in a “pantomime” and of “faking” anger for the purposes of television before going on to describe the widespread anger over cuts to the Disability Allowance as lacking “sincerity”.
Oh for the life of Brian.