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19 December 2002 Edition

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Christmas Quiz

1. The UDA's former brains, John White, was reunited with his lost pet. What was it?

2. What was the title of a BBC Radio 4 series profiling British Secretaries of State in the Six Counties?

3. Who was caught on air at the EU leaders, summit in Barcelona saying: "What a load of old crap that was."

Spanish Premier Jose Maria Aznar
Irish Foreign Minister Brian Cowen
British Prime Minister Tony Blair
Italian Premier Silvio Berlusconi
4. Who did Noel Gallagher of the Manchester-Irish band Oasis threaten to sue if they didn't stop pirating Wonderwall and other Oasis numbers in their publicity videos?

5. Where did the most wanted member of Greece's November 17th guerrillas hang out while on the run from Interpol, the FBI, Scotland Yard and 17,000 police before handing himself over?

6. Which washed-up soccer star of the 70s whined that the Peace Process has been "a farce from the start" and wants Gerry Adams censored?

7. Where was Fine Gael Foreign Affairs spokesperson Jim O'Keeffe speaking about when he demanded: "There should be an end to political violence and illegal occupation of land."

8. Miss Ireland Catriona Supple got newsmen hot under the collar after she personally posed with a Cork East general election candidate. Why?

9. A senior official in which British agency told BBC Governor Sir Ricahrd Eyre as a film producer in 1979: "If I had my way, we'd line all the Catholics up against the wall and shoot the fucking lot of them."

10. A poll by Whitaker's Political Almanac showed that only 25 per cent of Britons recognised Saddam Hussein and just 6 per cent Robert Mugabe. Which TV public enemy outpolled them and was recognised by 44 per cent of Brits in an identity parade of bad boys?

11. Uzil Gal's passing in September was mourned by the Garda Special Branch. Why?

12. Two members of the North's Human Rights Commission resigned, describing it as "toothless" and its remit under the Good Friday Agreement compromised by the British Government. One was Christine Bell. Who was the other?

13. What did the English Football Association promise to send to Afghanistan after the fall of the Taliban?

Vinnie Jones
Prawn sandwiches
Goalposts
The towers from Wembley Stadium
14. Baron Clifton Hugh Lancelot de Verdin Wrottesley, a former British Arm officer in Crossmaglen, sported Ireland's colours in the Salt Lake City Winter Olympics. In which slippery sport?

15. What controversial style of dancing did Lady Sylvia Hermon say that the Ulster Unionist Party wanted people to enjoy?

16. What sort of dancing is UFF Milltown killer Michael Stone concentrating on in his art studies in Peter Stringfellow's London nightclub?

17. Who had to issue a public apology for using a government jet to open an off licence for an old lover?

Jeffrey Archer
Bertie Ahern
Charlie McCreevy
Mary Harney
Sammy Wilson
18. The Ulster Unionist Party cited a US legal precedent set by two American organisations on the right to march where you're not wanted. Which two?

19. Britain's Prince Charles Windsor, Colonel in Chief of the Parachute Regiment, visited Dublin almost exactly on the 30th anniversary of Bloody Sunday. How many RTE newshounds asked him about Bloody Sunday?

20. What did KFC's Colonel Sanders not find finger-lickin, good about what UDA brigadiers did to his shop in the Shankill Road?

21. What almost choked George W. Bush?

A chicken bone
A fish bone
A pretzel
A tortilla chip
A Grand Jury probe into electoral fraud
22. Which author said: "You've only got to look at the suicide rate to know that the SAS has got a problem."

Jeffrey Archer Andy McNab Danny Morrison General Anthony Farrar Hockley

23. SF Presidente Gerry Adams appeared on the front-cover of which celebrated magazine alongside "the new face of Wonderbra"?

Viz
VIP
Private Eye
Phoenix
Irish Tatler
24. The father of the AK-47 Kalashnikov assault rifle died a natural decommissioning. What did he say he would rather have invented?

25.Of whom was it said, "His monotone fog-horn through his beard was like listening to RTE via a foul-smelling garden sock"?

Gerry Daly
Gerry Adams
Gerry O'Hare
Gerry Kelly
Gerry Anderson
26. Which former British Secretary of State in the Six Counties said that the IRA were freedom fighters, not terrorists?

27. What did Orangemen in the Battlehill lodge of Portadown boast on their website was "a badge of honour, not of shame"?

28. Who accused Sinn Fein of "balaclava economics"?

29. Which clothing did medical experts at Birmingham City Hospital declare can seriously damage your health?

Smoking jackets
Balaclavas
Anoraks
British Army helmets
30. What did UDA front man Sammy Duddy reveal as his saucy sideline to raise funds for unionist prisoners?

 

Answers



1) Vietnamese pot-bellied pig

2) Siberia, UK.

3) Spanish Premier Jose Maria Aznar.

4) The British Army. The Brits had pinched Oasis tunes to use in recruiting videos shown to schoolchildren in Scotland until Noel pulled the plug.

5) A nudist beach. Dimitris Koufondinas said he knew no one would be looking at his face!

6) George Best.

7) Zimbabwe.

8) The candidate was Sinn Fein's June Murphy, a friend.

9) The British Army Press Office in the Six Counties.

10) Phil Mitchell.

11) He was the creator of the Uzi sub-machine gun.

12) Inez McCormack.

13) Goalposts.

14) Skeleton sliding, a sort of toboganning.

15) Lap dancing.

16) Pole dancing.

17) Mary Harney.

18) The Ku Klux Klan and the American Nazi Party.

19) An easy one this - not one.

20) A UDA/UFF C Company mural on the wall.

21) A pretzel.

22) Ex-SAS gunman Andy McNab.

23) VIP.

24) Something useful, like a lawn mower.

25) Another easy one this - Gerry Adams (the Daily Mail said it when SF MPs went to Westminster).

26) None other than Tony Blair's Supreme Spin Meister, the Prince of Darkness himself, Peter Mandelson.

27) Bigot.

28) Mary Harney.

29) Anoraks - they impair your vision.

30) Sammy is a drag queen who has entertained British soldiers.

 


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Ireland