Top Issue 1-2024

1 July 2010

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The Hogan Stand

Blowing out your vuvuzela

LET a fanfare of trumpets ring out, for vuvuzelas have been banned from Croke Park.The deafening South African plastic horns that emit an ear-splitting monotone drone like a Fine Gael backbencher after a heavy Sunday lunch will not be heard in the hallowed halls of HQ if the big noises in the GAA have their way. You can buy them in Dublin now but you can’t bring them in to Croker – or other grounds.

The vuvuzela has burst onto soccer’s World Cup TV stage in ‘The Rainbow Nation’ and it’s not a sweet sound to many ears. The vuvuzela been splitting fans as to whether or not it should be banned because it makes the commentary hard to hear for TV viewers and it ruins the atmosphere in the stands for the paying punter.

Selling for just a couple of quid, they blast out up to 144 decibels, louder than a plane taking off. Health experts warn against the dangers, particularly for children.

But Alastair Campbell, the unwavering voice of Tony Blair and the British Labour Party, has come out against the would-be banners of the vuvuzela at the World Cup.

“Annoyance at the vuvuzela is becoming more annoying than the annoyance of the vuvuzela,” Burnley’s most famous fan tweeted. “Viva vuvuzela! No to cultural killjoys!”

Killjoys at Croke Park? Never.

What do you think?

LET a fanfare of trumpets ring out, for vuvuzelas have been banned from Croke Park.The deafening South African plastic horns that emit an ear-splitting monotone drone like a Fine Gael backbencher after a heavy Sunday lunch will not be heard in the hallowed halls of HQ if the big noises in the GAA have their way. You can buy them in Dublin now but you can’t bring them in to Croker – or other grounds.The vuvuzela has burst onto soccer’s World Cup TV stage in ‘The Rainbow Nation’ and it’s not a sweet sound to many ears. The vuvuzela been splitting fans as to whether or not it should be banned because it makes the commentary hard to hear for TV viewers and it ruins the atmosphere in the stands for the paying punter.Selling for just a couple of quid, they blast out up to 144 decibels, louder than a plane taking off. Health experts warn against the dangers, particularly for children.But Alastair Campbell, the unwavering voice of Tony Blair and the British Labour Party, has come out against the would-be banners of the vuvuzela at the World Cup.“Annoyance at the vuvuzela is becoming more annoying than the annoyance of the vuvuzela,” Burnley’s most famous fan tweeted. “Viva vuvuzela! No to cultural killjoys!”Killjoys at Croke Park? Never.What do you think?

Play up, Dr Marlow

TYRONE fan and technical genius Dr Seán Marlow of Dublin City University was on RTÉ’s Morning Ireland to advise viewers on how to tune down the vuvuzela.

Doctor Seán has two methods, which he has dubbed “Marlow Method A” and “Marlow Method B”. For the technical details, log on here: http://www.98fm.com/ news-sport/news/no-more-noise164943.

It’s a good job World Cup vuvuzelas didn’t make such a noise before 1993. Up until then, Seán Marlow was among those good and clever citizens banned from radio and TV because they were members of Sinn Féin.The infamous Section 31 of the Broadcasting Act was brought in by Fianna Fáil but enthusiastically enforced by Fine Gael and Labour until the Peace Process kicked in and Labour had no defence left. A bit like the Australian soccer team you might say.

Making money and movies

BACK on home ground, the Déise have astonishingly entered into a financial agreement with Tipp and Cork to raise much-needed funds. What is believed to be a five-figure sum was negotiated for Waterford in exchange for home advantage in a Munster final over the next five years.

This raises serious questions regarding the apparent desperate financial affairs of the Waterford County Board. It’s outrageous that the venue of a match of such significance could be decided on a financial deal.

Tipp, of course, now play Wexford in the qualifiers just after we go to print and the Slaneysiders will hope to have Greg Jacob available – with his kit on – for selection following his recent extra-curricular activities at the movies.

When he was exposed (sorry, couldn’t resist that) for taking part in the X-rated video ‘Sex Tour of Ireland’ and asked about how he went down from the senior panel to the intermediate team, the hurler on the prowl reportedly countered:

“It’s all nonsense. You know how s**t goes around. I don’t regret doing it.”

Sounds like a Fianna Fáil Cabinet member.

Knock-out blows

ON a more wholesome note, Ireland’s boxing team brought home one gold, one silver and three bronze medals from the European Senior Championships held in Moscow.

Paddy Barnes from Belfast ended a 19-year wait by bringing back a gold medal in the light-flyweight class. Kilkenny southpaw Darren O’Neill, a 6th-class teacher at Holy Trinity Primary School in Donaghmede, won a silver medal in the middleweight category. Ken Egan, Eric Donovan and Tyrone McCullagh ensured that Ireland finished in second place to Russia in the medals table by each winning bronze medals.

And what about the lads in the Fine Gael fisticuffs? All that gouging and sledging and back-biting – and it’s all legal with no complaining from The Sunday Game.

Paul Galvin, eat your heart out.

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