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18 June 1998 Edition

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Television: World class hype

By Sean O Donaile

Euroballs 98 (Channel 4)
Fantasy World Cup (UTV)
Reggae Boyz (BBC2)
Fod an Duchais (TnaG)
For those of you not into hype Croke Park produced two hurling classics last Sunday, with the Wexford pikemen of 98 having to play second fiddle yet again.

Meanwhile the World Cup hype continues apace with one score every hour, by men who kiss each other and encourage youngsters to go out and buy a pair of Nike runners by all means possible.

The silky skills of Ronaldo and Co aside, the 96-hour tournament has produced a fair deal of crass stuff and none more so than the by now trademark British hooliganism, which is probably best represented by the tasteless ``Euroballs'' on Channel 4 most evenings.

In between smirking to ourselves, one can't but feel sorry for these lost souls, alienated products of decades of Thatcherism, raised in industrial wastelands, bereft of self esteem and purpose.

Euroballs' interview with Stan Collymore, complete with porno star on his knee, probably best typifies this attitude. Last night's episode included an interview with global sex queen Muriel, who was busy giving public readings on the Kama Sutra and claiming to have written her first novel in the nude; a focus on ``The Opera of Shit'', a French film production of naked youths flinging plastic turds at each other and an obviously sick songwriter who had recently produced a video on incest.

I escaped to David Dunseith's ``Let's Talk'', but was immediately depressed by young unionists telling tales of ``Irish terrorism of 1641'', so I reverted to UTV's ``Fantasy World Cup'' which manages to garner a few much needed brownie points for British football.

Frank Skinner and David Baddiel, recently hijacked from BBC, are the proof that some British fans actually have a sense of humour and are a refreshing alternative to Jimmy Hill telling us ``we're going to go all the way'', which is what Jamaica are unlikely to do despite their heroics on ``Reggae Boyz'', rising from a world rating of 150 to qualification for the merchandising tourno.

Despite our preconception that Jamaicans are too busy ``smoking the ganja'' and growing dreadlocks, they aren't half bad ball players.

Led by a Magnum-wielding dodgy baker and a Brazilian coach, the programme follows their progress through a rigorous training schedule and series of warm-up tournaments on a meagre budget. They even have their own fall guy, Walter `bad boy' Boyd, who after much bru-ha and ballyhoo, eventually makes it to France 98.

When choosing a team, as an excuse to down 47 crates of Budweiser over the next three weeks, one should remember our links with the Caribbean isle, where thousands of our ancestors were shipped as slaves by Cromwell, and labelled ``the white niggers''.

I'm pinning my colours with the other underdogs Iran, who take on the Yankee ``dogs of war'' in a few days time.

Another well travelled icon, featured on TnaG's ``Fod an Duchais'' was republican, socialist and often forgotten literary giant, Mairtin O Caidhin.

O Caidhin was in the `Ra when it wasn't popular and this led to him losing his teaching post and eventually being incarcerated for five years by DeValera in the Curragh, where he was instrumental in establishing an earlier version of ``The University of Freedom'', in cahoots with the not so revolutionary Breandan Behan and others.

O Cadhain, on a home visit to An Spideil in 1970's Galway, claims his republicanism to be ``as much a part of me as the stones of my homeland''.

Although this documentary was only produced in 1977, it may have portrayed 1877, with O Cadhain recalling his parents' wedding which was one of the few at the time that wasn't arranged - ``there's nothing much unusual about me except I was the result of a runaway match''.

He was reared on a diet of piseoga (the bean si, the fairy lover and the little green men), and tales of Oisín and Na Fianna, which ``we used to fool our hunger''.

He recalls the singing competitions, solo dancing, jugs of poteen and the luxury of bread.

He takes us to the fairy bushes and the herculean myriad stone walls of the area, where he compares ``my people'' to the Cossacks of Maxim Gorky.

O Cadhain was a pioneer in his field highlighting in his novels the hypocritical treatment of women by Irish society; and the imprisonment of us all in society's social outlook straitjacket.

Probably his most memorable novel ``Cre na Cille'' focused on the afterlife, and conversations between the bodies in the cemetery, where the freshly arrived stiffs were grilled about how big a funeral they had, and was there any gossip?

Finally O Cadhain, who didn't seem to have a satellite pinned to his wall, accurately stated. ``I judge a person not by their status of position in society, but by what they do in their spare time'', which means we're all in trouble!

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