19 February 1998 Edition
Television: Going downhill
by Sean O Donaile
The Winter Olympics(Eurosport)
Later on 2 (Network 2)
Inside Story (BBC 1)
Branson's Pickle(BBC 2)
Blind Date (BatterBurger TV - UTV)
This Winter Olympics lark just ain't fair. Whatever chance us Irish have of picking up a medal every 30 or so years at the summer games, we've damm all chance of winning at the Frozen Games, being staged this year at Nagano in Japan.
Eurosport is the only channel which lumbers us with The European Tractor Pulling Chanpionships and such nonsense, and they've provided wall to wall coverage of the snowboarders.
Some of the downhill skiing and bobsleighing is breathtaking but unfortunately the only ski slope we have is plastic and is located in the nether regions of County Wicklow.
Snowboarding hit the headlines after the gold medallist came close to losing his crown after accidentally inhaling marijuana smoke two weeks ago.
Title for the most ridiculous sport must go to Curling which involves pushing a mop around an ice rink at a furious rate, but it may offer us the only chance of future success, so to those of you who are handy in the kitchen...
Sport in general has reached saturation point on TV and none more so than ``football'' which was featured in Network 2's ``Later on 2'' on Monday last.
This is one of the better efforts on the revamped station and recent revelations included Caoimhghin O Caoláin, who readily handled our Man Eoghan Harris and his cronies.
Back to football, which has become ``the religion of the 90s'' for many and one contributor correctly pointed out that ``people are strangely more persistent in their relationships with their teams than with their partners''.
What person in their right mind would endure a romance as calamitous as that with Manchester City or Bohemians?
The contributors catalogued the decline of League of Ireland from the 1950s when crowds of 30,000 attended games, until the present day with the majority of fans switching their allegiances to Merchandise United.
The final nail in the coffin of the game in Ireland would be the arrival of Wimbledon ,where the renamed Dublin City could become become English League Champions!
In the words of one comentator ``get away from the moneygrabbers and get down to Dalymount''.
As I write Sinn Fein may be homeless, but not quite as ``pissed off''
as fellow evictees Tommy and Crystal , featured in BBC 1's ``Inside Story ``on Tuesday last.
Despite their lowly position in ``society'', Tommy's pride remains intact - ``we might be scum but we're decent scum''.
This self respect and determination to escape from their predicament remains with the couple throughout this fly on the wall documentary, which portrays one of the benefits of Thatcherism.
Both have similar backgrounds, and broken relationships, troubled childhoods and an inadequate welfare system has had a detrimental impact, causing a yearning to be cut off from others and a failure to cope with any responsibilities.
Crystal spends her days injecting methadone and shoplifting and spends her 18th birthday with a few extra cans of Special Brew.
We're introduced to fellow Special Brew colleagues, one eyed Jimmy, Prostitute Janice, and ex Gulf War ``hero'' John, who ``can't forget the atrocities'' - tell that to Uncle Bill.
Tommy has spent two years on the streets after terms in prison and states that he has to be careful as ``we might end up down and out''.
Eventually he does get it together, returning to his family in Edinburgh for Christmas, where he is joined by Crystal.
Unfortunately there's no Hollywood ending and the two go their separate ways.
One suspects Tommy's renewed family ties and support will prevent a return to Leicester Square.
For Crystal the ball doesn't shine so brightly.
The life expectancy of London's homeless is 42.
Another victim of Thatcherism (or of late, ``Blairism'') has been the
public services, which have been sold for a fraction of their worth to a handful of ``entrepreneurs''(sic), including Richard Branson, who got his greasy paws on a large section of British Rail.
His fortunes or, more accurately, his false promises were scrutinised in Panorama;''Branson's Pickle'', which was all too much for the bearded one who ran out of hot air halfway through an interview, storming out when it was pointed out to him that under supposed improved privatisation , train delays have increased by 15%.
Under privatisation we were promised ``the high performance of the private sector,...a more caring approach'' and the pickled one promised to make rail travel ``an exceptional experience''.
Exceptional it has been, with increased prices, poor punctuality, a lack of information, layoffs and ``a crap lavatory service'', where the toilets have become frozen over with frost.
Still the government bankrolls Branson to the tune of £77 million last year, but the service remains as reliable as his baloons.
UTV meanwhile, remains the batterburger of television, and one of its most popular offerings is the abysmal ``Blind Date'' where guests are prompted to utter such classic answers as ``I'll give you the ride of a lifetime'' .
Its most recent victim was cauliflower-eared and male stripogram Bernie from Gweedore , who caused much anguish among Donegalmen who saw him as a most unfit ambassador for their county.
It was difficult to decipher whether he was for real or taking the proverbial, as he informed Cilla that ``I'll tell you but I never thought I'd see the day when I'd be goan to Paaa-ras with a beautiful looooking wooman''.
The audience were delighted with the jovial Paddy and Foster and Allen must now be relieved to be stripped of their title of most ridiculous looking Irishmen on British TV.
The Winter Olympics(Eurosport)
Later on 2 (Network 2)
Inside Story (BBC 1)
Branson's Pickle(BBC 2)
Blind Date (BatterBurger TV - UTV)
This Winter Olympics lark just ain't fair. Whatever chance us Irish have of picking up a medal every 30 or so years at the summer games, we've damm all chance of winning at the Frozen Games, being staged this year at Nagano in Japan.
Eurosport is the only channel which lumbers us with The European Tractor Pulling Chanpionships and such nonsense, and they've provided wall to wall coverage of the snowboarders.
Some of the downhill skiing and bobsleighing is breathtaking but unfortunately the only ski slope we have is plastic and is located in the nether regions of County Wicklow.
Snowboarding hit the headlines after the gold medallist came close to losing his crown after accidentally inhaling marijuana smoke two weeks ago.
Title for the most ridiculous sport must go to Curling which involves pushing a mop around an ice rink at a furious rate, but it may offer us the only chance of future success, so to those of you who are handy in the kitchen...
Sport in general has reached saturation point on TV and none more so than ``football'' which was featured in Network 2's ``Later on 2'' on Monday last.
This is one of the better efforts on the revamped station and recent revelations included Caoimhghin O Caoláin, who readily handled our Man Eoghan Harris and his cronies.
Back to football, which has become ``the religion of the 90s'' for many and one contributor correctly pointed out that ``people are strangely more persistent in their relationships with their teams than with their partners''.
What person in their right mind would endure a romance as calamitous as that with Manchester City or Bohemians?
The contributors catalogued the decline of League of Ireland from the 1950s when crowds of 30,000 attended games, until the present day with the majority of fans switching their allegiances to Merchandise United.
The final nail in the coffin of the game in Ireland would be the arrival of Wimbledon ,where the renamed Dublin City could become become English League Champions!
In the words of one comentator ``get away from the moneygrabbers and get down to Dalymount''.
As I write Sinn Fein may be homeless, but not quite as ``pissed off''
as fellow evictees Tommy and Crystal , featured in BBC 1's ``Inside Story ``on Tuesday last.
Despite their lowly position in ``society'', Tommy's pride remains intact - ``we might be scum but we're decent scum''.
This self respect and determination to escape from their predicament remains with the couple throughout this fly on the wall documentary, which portrays one of the benefits of Thatcherism.
Both have similar backgrounds, and broken relationships, troubled childhoods and an inadequate welfare system has had a detrimental impact, causing a yearning to be cut off from others and a failure to cope with any responsibilities.
Crystal spends her days injecting methadone and shoplifting and spends her 18th birthday with a few extra cans of Special Brew.
We're introduced to fellow Special Brew colleagues, one eyed Jimmy, Prostitute Janice, and ex Gulf War ``hero'' John, who ``can't forget the atrocities'' - tell that to Uncle Bill.
Tommy has spent two years on the streets after terms in prison and states that he has to be careful as ``we might end up down and out''.
Eventually he does get it together, returning to his family in Edinburgh for Christmas, where he is joined by Crystal.
Unfortunately there's no Hollywood ending and the two go their separate ways.
One suspects Tommy's renewed family ties and support will prevent a return to Leicester Square.
For Crystal the ball doesn't shine so brightly.
The life expectancy of London's homeless is 42.
Another victim of Thatcherism (or of late, ``Blairism'') has been the
public services, which have been sold for a fraction of their worth to a handful of ``entrepreneurs''(sic), including Richard Branson, who got his greasy paws on a large section of British Rail.
His fortunes or, more accurately, his false promises were scrutinised in Panorama;''Branson's Pickle'', which was all too much for the bearded one who ran out of hot air halfway through an interview, storming out when it was pointed out to him that under supposed improved privatisation , train delays have increased by 15%.
Under privatisation we were promised ``the high performance of the private sector,...a more caring approach'' and the pickled one promised to make rail travel ``an exceptional experience''.
Exceptional it has been, with increased prices, poor punctuality, a lack of information, layoffs and ``a crap lavatory service'', where the toilets have become frozen over with frost.
Still the government bankrolls Branson to the tune of £77 million last year, but the service remains as reliable as his baloons.
UTV meanwhile, remains the batterburger of television, and one of its most popular offerings is the abysmal ``Blind Date'' where guests are prompted to utter such classic answers as ``I'll give you the ride of a lifetime'' .
Its most recent victim was cauliflower-eared and male stripogram Bernie from Gweedore , who caused much anguish among Donegalmen who saw him as a most unfit ambassador for their county.
It was difficult to decipher whether he was for real or taking the proverbial, as he informed Cilla that ``I'll tell you but I never thought I'd see the day when I'd be goan to Paaa-ras with a beautiful looooking wooman''.
The audience were delighted with the jovial Paddy and Foster and Allen must now be relieved to be stripped of their title of most ridiculous looking Irishmen on British TV.