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18 May 2012

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Who gives a feck about feta?

Finance Minister Michael Noonan and the Greek tragedy

The Minister for Finance effectively tells a European partner and its people to go feck themselves and not a peep

MichaelNolanBy Michael Nolan

JUST BEFORE the last Dáil general election, Mícheál Martin got himself in to a spot of bother when, during the course of a speech, he mimicked a Chinese accent to make some point or other. The media pounced on him and his political detractors attacked him over this crass but rather harmless political faux pas. In fairness to the Chinese (if I can speak for all one billion of them), they didn't seem too put out by it either.

At a major media conference this week hosted by the Bloomberg global financial news organisation, attended by the Taoiseach, Minister for Finance Michael Noonan engaged in something much more malign and something that gives a real indication of where the mindset of those who are dictating economic policy in Ireland and across Europe are at.

Although we are all in the midst of the worst economic crisis in generations, Minister Michael Noonan felt comfortable enough, as he slouched like a drunk at closing time in his big soft leather chair, to regale his audience (mostly journalists) with his charming Limerick wit.

Noted for his rather bizarre and often poorly constructed metaphors, he began with a golfing analogy where he suggested that we should support the Austerity Treaty on the basis he does not want Ireland to be a pavilion member of the eurozone “where you are allowed drink in the bar but not play the course”.

No, you’re right – it makes no sense. The fact of the matter is that whether we pass the Austerity Treaty or not, we will, for as long as we want to, remain full members of the eurozone. But lazy hacks love this sort of shit. It gives them a bit of copy, a bit of colour to brighten up their day where they don't actually have to think or challenge the high and mighty minister on his utterances.

It got worse. And so did the giggling from the assembled masses. He moved on to the crisis in Greece. And what unfolded was indeed a tragedy.

Every day we are hearing what austerity is doing to Greece. We are seeing the mass unemployment, growing demands for soup kitchens, riots and stories of people rooting in bins to find food. We are hearing tragic stories of suicides and hopelessness. We are seeing a people being brought to their knees. And, sadly, we all know that we, along with the Italians and Spanish, are not too far behind.

That doesn't concern our ‘hilarious’ Finance Minister. In front of the cameras of the world, this poor excuse for a human being laughed and chortled his way through a press conference as he suggested that Ireland has nothing to fear from Greece crashing and burning. After all, he said, “apart from holidaying in the Greek islands, most Irish people don't have a lot of . . . if you go in to the shops here – you’re doing your weekly shopping – apart from Feta cheese, how many Greek items [howls of laughter from those gathered], how many Greek items do you put in your basket?” [Gormlessly laughs at his own wit here.]

He went on to point out that Greece represents under 2% of the European economy so (and I'm paraphrasing here) it doesn’t matter a shit what happens to them.

So much for European solidarity.

Feck the Greeks – Michael’s alright.

It’s shameful stuff on so many levels: the ignorance of the minister; his lack of compassion for a people going through real trauma; his failure to understand that it’s the very policies he is pursuing in Ireland that have exacerbated the problems in Greece and elsewhere.

Then there’s the failure of the media to report it in any fashion other than, as TV3 put it, it lightened the mood!!!  For who – the Greeks?

Mícheál Martin got a bollocking for putting on an accent and was headlines for a number of days. The current Minister for Finance effectively tells a European partner and its people to go feck themselves and not a peep – not even about his grotesque use of stereotypes.

There’s an old Chinese proverb (no accents, please): ‘Only a fool laughs at his own jokes.’ Judging by Noonan's guffawing at the Bloomberg conference, it’s clear that he is a bigger fool than even I'd thought he was.

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