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5 July 2007 Edition

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Letter to the Taoiseach

I see that Shaun Woodward has replaced Peter Hain as British Secretary of State in the North. Gerry Moriarty of The Irish Times reckons that Mr Woodward has two butlers at his disposal now:  one at his English mansion and the other at his new Hillsborough Castle address in County Down.
I once helped to take over Shaun Woodward’s constituency office in an English constituency called St Helen’s South. A DUP Assembly Member called Tom Buchanan joined me on that particular law-breaking mission.  We were protesting together for the retention of Acute Services at the Tyrone County Hospital.
Shaun Woodward met hospital campaigners from Omagh on another occasion. This time the encounter was at Stormont Castle and Mr Woodward sat with his hands behind his head and his feet on the desk. “You have 20 minutes”, he told the late Sinn Féin Councillor Mickey McAnespie. Mickey was Chairman of Omagh District Council at the time and he responded by saying “The first thing that you will do, you boy ye, is, you’ll have manners”.  Even the Unionist representatives present hailed Mickey for putting manners on a British Direct Rule Minister.
In his new role, Mr Woodward will set about the transfer of responsibility for criminal justice and policing in the North from his own NIO to the Assembly at Stormont. In a way, his first task will be about doing himself out of a job. You could nearly say that he is a Provisional British Secretary of State.  
Anyway, Taoiseach, I arrived back from Washington last Friday night.  On the flight over, I was seated not too far from Lord Kilclooney, Lord Rowan and Lord Glentoran. Where did John Taylor acquire that accent? He and Lord Glentoran were guffawing at the fact that Lord Glentoran owes the Speaker of the House of Lords a stiff drink because his mobile had gone off in the Chamber the previous week. Apparently, they have agreed this voluntary system of penalties in the Lords.  
Between the chuckles of these Lords, I could see that William McCrea was having great trouble with his swipe card as he tried to secure admission to the Diamond Club Lounge at Belfast City Airport. Some people have the weight of the world on their shoulders.
Over in Washington, we had a pleasant reception at the Irish Embassy, courtesy of Ambassador Fahy. The Sam Maguire Cup and the Liam McCarthy Cup were both popular guests at the Embassy.  Washington went well but the weather was a bit on the hot side and there were far too many civil servants running about pretending that ‘Northern Ireland’ is a country.
Sometimes, they call it a country and other times they fuel further confusion by describing the Six Counties as a region or even a province.  They say that it is a small place. I am not even convinced that it is a place in the same way that an amalgam of Dublin and Meath (with lines drawn around them) could hardly be regarded as a single place.
Finally, for this week, anyway, Bertie, a friend of mine was not 100% sure about the network of minor roads that take you from South Tyrone into North Monaghan. My friend consulted the RAC route planner. This guide tells you that you have to leave the A4 and turn left into the B83. It tells you that you have just left Clogher, County Tyrone and that you should follow the B83 for 4.72 miles. It further tells you that “You are leaving Great Britain. You are entering the Republic of Ireland”. Apart from everything else, there is nothing Great about it .
Sometimes, this type of thing would really annoy you? Does it bother you, Taoiseach?  
By the way, did you send a congratulatory message to Councillor Rotimi Adebari, the new First Citizen of Portlaoise?  Brian Stanley did a great job in 2006/2007 and I am sure that Councillor Adebari will make his mark as well.


Is mise le meas
Barry McElduff


NB: Bertie Ahern can be contacted on (00 353) 1 619 4020 or e-mail [email protected].  Address: Office of the Taoiseach, Government Buildings, Dublin 2.


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