Betty Fleming – An appreciation

BETTY FLEMING

1932 - 2011

AN APPRECIATION

So destiny would have it that Saturday the 24^th of September 2011 was to be the last day of your life.  We all knew that in recent weeks you were suffering the ravages of cancer and although your mind and your pain were dulled by morphine, you were still a living and breathing symbol of endurance and courage.  From a distance the whole community was  with you in spirit, sharing another part of the journey of your life.  We knew that you would carry your cross with the same quiet dignity with which you faced the many challenges over the years.

For a small woman, Betty, you represented something larger than life within the Top of the Hill community.  Your bravery, your quiet demeanour, your intelligence and your wit and humour were the armour which protected you through the many trials which you faced.  You were fearless in the face of the might of the British army on the numerous occasions that they violated your home.  Your strength of character and justice were in sharp contrast to the shameful behaviour of the RUC when they tried in their hundreds to rob your son William of a dignified funeral.

Over the years we watched how you supported other women who knew the same loss as yourself and we wondered at your compassion and inner strength.  Betty you were always there, in the background, with your gentle yet invincible spirit.

For what seemed like an eternity you supported your sons in prison, travelling to Long Kesh and Portlaoise gaols in all sorts of weather – never complaining, just accepting that this was their fate and yours.  You nursed your husband Leo, through his illness and untimely death and carried on relentlessly rearing your family, with a war going on, on your doorstep . . . a war which often spilled over violently into the sanctuary of your own home.

Betty you and many other women like you were the people who paid the price of the conflict. Yet your name will not be known outside of the small community that knew you. We will not forget that quiet and unassuming woman who unwittingly inspired us all during the dark days to carry on with pride in the knowledge that what we stood for was just and right.

But Betty although you suffered greatly in your life, you were also a source of happiness and laughter.  Your quick-fire humour and witty lines defined you as much as your strength and courage.  Your infectious laugh will forever bring a smile to those who knew you.  You loved the crack and hearing the stories of the many adventures and misadventures of your family over the years.

The happy days living in Strabane Old Road when your family were young are still fresh in my mind.  Running in and out of your house and you shouting ‘close the door’!  You were a beautiful woman – sallow skin and hair as black as coal.  I remember the day you came home from visiting your brother in the Bahamas.  It seemed that the whole street was out waiting for you to come home.  We had never known anyone to travel to such a distant and exotic destination.  You stepped out of the car like a film star, tanned and happy, with your hair shining and skin glowing.  That image still stays in my mind.

Even during the conflict your home in Rose Court was always a hive of activity.  There was life and laughter and music.  Rod Stewart and Queen on the record player and teenagers dancing in your living room.

So, Betty – today as you leave us, what is your legacy?  What lessons have we learned from you?

We have learned that life can be heartless and cruel.  It can rob us of the things we love the most but we can be fearless, our spirits can endure so much, and we can be resilient beyond belief.

The last day I saw you Betty, you were down-playing your own illness and as always asking about the welfare of others.  You were smiling and gentle and strong....and that’s the way I will remember you.

Your spirit is free now, so be at peace Betty and send  your spirit to comfort and strengthen those who have loved you, in the days ahead.  You will be missed, but never forgotten.  You symbolised everything that was good and decent in our community.

– From a family friend